DEPAKOTE

So I was trying not to say names of medications, because I don’t want people to stop taking their medications or to be concerned, but I am so frustrated. My hair is falling out so much! The doctor in the hospital the last time I went increased my depakote from 500mg to 1250mg. Hair loss is a side effect. It can also cause weight gain and increased appetite. There are more side effects. I brought myself into the hospital, because I knew I was going hypomanic and I was terrified that he would increase my depakote or switch me to lithium. I had the worst anxiety about him switching or increasing my meds, but also didn’t want to go full on manic. I’ve had bad experiences at Palo Verde where they forced me to take lithium so I figured I would stick with the doctor who treated my mania in September and my post suicide attempt in October. I was on 1000mg of depakote when I tried to take my own life. I was having situational depression with no job and soon to be no car and couldn’t see or talk to my sister, nephews, and neice, but I am pretty certain the depakote was against me too. I was suicidal a few weeks ago too on Depakote but I was also on an anti depressant. The only difference this time is that I am on an anti depressant too. He switched my anti depressant. After my suicide attempt he put me back on depakote at 500mg with an antidepressants but I was still scared of becoming suicidal. Please please do your own research and talk to your doctors. Advocate for yourself. When at the hospital the doctors only prescribe depakote or lithium, because they are the fast actings meds. But in my opionion and from my personal experience, they are the worst most toxic medications. I got collagen which will hopefully help with my hair soon, but I called my caseworker to get a sooner appointment with my NP. I want to get back on lamictal which in my opinion is the less toxic of the mood stabilizers. They just have to start it at a low dosage. I personally was really good on just an antidepressant for over 3 years when I worked at the law office which could be stressful. That’s part of the reason I think I just have PTSD. Depression, and anxiety. PTSD can present as bi polar symptoms.. getting confused, delusional, and scared. Depakote and Lithium require blood work I think monthly to make sure you aren’t toxic and over time they both can cause organ failure. I thought I liked the doctor I had at Sonora, but he barely had time to talk to me and gave me no choice on my medications. Well he did let me choose my anxiety med this time which was nice. My experiences at Palo Verde were with Dr. Resting Bitch Face. ( I had her real name here at first but my therapist recommended I didn’t and that is smart. Don’t want to be sued for slander). She didn’t believe any of my trauma and just forced me to take lithium. She really looked and acted like such a snobby bitch. And Dr. Lithium court ordered me to take Lithium two different times. Once about 4 years ago causing me to lose a good job and I ended up getting on mental disability. And October 2024. I refused to take it for many days. I calmed myself down and was not manic. She did not believe my trauma either. I told her to call my doctor on the outside who I actually liked. She probably never called him. I eventually knew I had to take it. Think I was court ordered again anyway. But as soon as I started taking it, she gave me a creepy smile and said you’re doing so much better. She thought when I yelled at her I was manic. I just was mad that she was forcing me to take a medication I know makes me feel like a zombie and horrible. But she thinks I got better after a few days of taking lithium. I was already better on my own with time.