I am doing so well!!

Hey friends! I haven’t written a blog since 5/29/26! I have been obsessed with posting videos on Tik Tok. It is fun and easier! I also stared a YouTube channel Stefanie’s Safe Space but haven’t been posting much on there. I recently started posted short videos on Facebook stories for my 1,160 Facebook friends most of who probably don’t follow me on Tik Tok. I currently have 943 followers on Tik Tok and would love to get to at least 1,000. One of my friends from AA has 3,000 but she said that took time. I have about 80-200 people who watch my videos! Who knows if they watch till the end though. Most of my videos are about 10 minutes long or so. One video got 265 views. Just noticed that one of my pictures holding up my new business cards with music got 416 views! Wahoo!! Getting views and followers now on my social media is not as important to me as starting my own foundation and having lots of support and donations once it is an official 501(c)3! I would also love to publish some books and be successful with that. But my biggest dream and hope is to have a facility for mental health! I know Tucson has a lot of resources and help, but in my opinion it is not enough. NAMI is great but I think they could do so much more. I want to do what they can’t. I want to be able to host groups and meetings and classes at my facility. NAMI is just a small house and the biggest class they can host is probably with about 6 people. I also want my facility to be bigger and better than the CRC..Crisis Response Center. There space is just full of recliners and mats on the floor for people to temporary stay as they try to find an opening at a hospital. I personally have slept on a mat there for 4 days. I am sorry but that is just not acceptable! They need to do better! They must get a lot of money from insurances and AHCCCS I would think but I am not sure. I also think psychiatrists are way overpaid. They barely do anything at the CRC. They barely do anything at the hospitals too. They do not take more than about 2-5 minutes to talk to each patient each day. I was recently told my NAMI that I cannot do presentations with Ending the Silence to Middle and High Schools, because I guess I broke my contract by talking about NAMI on my social media platforms. I have said nothing but good things about them, but now I will not hold back about how I really feel. The CEO according to google makes $603,043 a year. That seems a little outrageous to me. When I have my own foundation, I am thinking I will make maybe about $100,000-$200,000 a year. I will make sure my foundation has everything it needs and more before I even make a salary at all. If I can eventually get donations from famous people who have a ton to give, because they see what an amazing foundation I will have, maybe I will give myself a higher salary, because I am going to be putting a lot of time and work into it. If the CEO of NAMI only made $200,000 a year… I would think $400,000 a year would be way more than enough for NAMISA in Tucson, AZ to get a new bigger facility but what do I know. I am curious about the other NAMI offices in different states. I am going to look into it. I eventually want Stefanie’s Safe Spaces around the nation. You can read more about my mission statement and dream and purpose on my homepage. Scroll all the way down. But now I will give an update on how I am doing! It has definitely been super hard to not be able to see my nephews and nieces for over 4 months, but considering that I am still doing very good! I am at a really good place with my mental health. I am still taking my anti depressant, anti anxiety, and sleep meds. I am still going to church and am taking a Rooted church class. I go to AA most days and have 3 years, 3 months, 27 days sober and it feels amazing! I went to church last night which was Thursday, because I have plans on Sunday to meet up with some gals from Real Connections Facebook page for women. We are meeting at a Mexican restaurant on the south side of Tucson. Last night I grabbed a seat on the end of an aisle hoping nobody would sit right next to me so I could have some space. But to my delight, a really nice older couple sat next to me and introduced themselves. The music and service was really good. The topic was anxiety which is so relatable for so many people including myself. When Pastor Trevor prayed for all of us at the end I became teary eyed and could not hold back tears as I thought about my nieces and nephews. The older couple said they would be in the prayer room after if I needed them to pray for me. The lady in all teal including her make up, gave me a hug as she walked out. I did end up going to the prayer room and it was so amazing to have 3 wonderful women pray for my family and myself. I was crying but it was so good! My sister sent me to court recently. I went about a month ago and the judge said I could possibly have to do 6 months of jail time. I won’t get into the details again of what happened, but basically my sister doesn’t want to deal with her own stuff so put everything back on me. I 100% do not deserve to have to go to court. She already sent me to jail for 7 nights last year and it was one of the most awful times in my life. Somehow she spun it to the cops that there was domestic violence and they forcefully handcuffed me and charged me with a felony. I did not even talk to anyone in person at all. This was just because I had text my nephews to come look at my car which was proof that I was at my sister’s house when I had an order of protection against me. I left before they even came out. The only reason I have an order of protection against me is again because my sister doesn’t want to take any accountability and take care of her own stuff. My Dad recently asked her twice to please drop the charges against me and she refused. I can’t believe she honestly believes I deserve to go to jail for 6 months. She has testified against me in court also a few years ago believing her toxic horrible ex husband over me. She helped court order me to take the most toxic medication for me that takes away my whole personality and has me feeling like a zombie. Even though she doesn’t want me in her life and her kids’ life right now, I will never have her in my life again and give her the opportunity to treat me like a criminal. She thinks she is so much better than me and that will never change. Today I made the decision to forgive her even though she hasn’t and probably never will take accountability for her actions and feelings towards me and will never apologize. It is such a freeing feeling to forgive her and my Mother and brother. I googled forgiving and not forgetting though and I will share what I found. “Forgive but never forget” is a powerful emotional philosophy. It means letting go of anger and resentment for your own peace of mind, while keeping the memory of the event as a lesson for boundaries, wisdom, and self protection. It is the balance of grace and awareness. I will also forgive my cousin for lacking empathy and leaving me hanging but as a couple of my good friends have told me..forgiving is not giving access. I will not let her do this to me again. I also forgive my two younger adopted sisters who were not there for me when I tried to take my own life last year and still are not there for me now. I have to Let Go and Let God. I have been doing really well. I feel amazing. Recovery is possible! There is no cure for metal illness and recovery requires hard work but it is possible. I went to court on Monday and thankfully the 6 months in jail was off the table and they offered me a plea bargain of 24 months of unsupervised probation and a $600 fine. That would probably never come off my record so I respectfully and kindly asked for mental health court. There are definitely benefits to having the SMI diagnosis (Serious mental illness). I just had to do a quick CCAT evaluation and should be getting a new court date soon for mental health court. The court completely dropped the case last year so that is possible after I explain to the judge the situation. But worst case scenario, I will just have to take some classes and it will be off my record. I will have to go back to mental health court every month until I’ve completed the required amount of classes so I will try to do it as quickly as possible. If my sister ever has to go to court, she won’t be able to ask for mental health court. When I was in jail last year her name was carved into the window of my cell. That may be a sign that she may have to do some jail time at some point. I really wouldn’t wish that on anyone but it’s not up to me. It is up to God and I trust that the right thing will happen. Despite still being court ordered to treatment until October 8th, having an order of protection against me until April, and having to go back to mental health court..I feel so free and at peace. When I swim laps for an hour and half most days, I take that time to reflect on everything I am grateful for and I thank God and pray to God. I pray for Him to keep taking my anger and resentment and allow me to have peace and love in my life.