Hey friends! It is Saturday and I am looking forward to my women’s AA meeting at 11am. There are lots of very sweet ladies at that meeting. That is where I met my sponsor. She text me this morning and said she will be at the meeting but is unable to meet after. We usually meet after the meeting at Starbucks for an hour. Last week was kind of a bust, because I was having a hard time with some family stuff and just ended up crying. I was having a hard time letting Go and lettin

Hey everyone! I did start my own YouTube channel Stefanie’s Safe Space! Yay! I have posted a few videos so far. I am so excited! I am keeping it positive and am trying not to talk about some of the negative things I have talked about on Tik Tok and written about here on my blog. I want to start by saying I don’t think my brother sexually assaulted me when I was a kid. I still don’t know for sure and should probably do EMDR therapy, but I just want to get past it and move on.

Hi! I only have about ten minutes before I have to go pick up my sister Rina for church. I love going to Pantano Christian. I feel my angels so hard during the music. The music is always so good. I did not want too get out of bed this morning, I slept pretty good, but felt so tired this morning. I am feeling great now though! I took a shower and dried my hair and did my make up. I am wearing my pink jeans and a black shirt and my gold Stefanie’s Safe Space necklace that my be

Good Morning! I woke up early this morning, because I am going to a brunch to meet a few new friends and see a couple old ones. I feel like every morning when I wake up I am in a way mourning my sister, because she will no longer be in my life. She is toxic to me though and so it is better this way. Again, I just wish things could be different but she will never change and I need to just be as round positive and healthy people. She is giving me no choice too. She is the one w

Good Evening everyone! It is Friday night at 9:33pm! Love the number 33! It was my Uncle Scotty’s favorite number and also mine. 333 is a good angel number. If you have never looked it up, you should! Today I stayed in bed almost all day. It felt really good to be in bed. I got out of bed at I think 11:33am and had a macaroni and cheese lean cuisine and I added green chiles and chalula. I also had a Coke Zero which was really good. I did a video for Tik Tok and was going to g

Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by to read my blogs! I have had a rough couple of months but nothing but positive vibes going forward! I want my nephews and nieces to be proud of me! I am hoping once I open a facility for Stefanie’s Safe Space my whole family will stop by on my opening day! I think I will also invite my whole family to my foundation party! I do not know when that will be but I am hoping within a year. I want to succeed and do amazing things to prove to myse

Hello Again! I decided to delete my last blog and rewrite it to make it a little more positive. This last 2 months has been so hard on me, because my sister hasn’t been talking to me and I can’t see my niece and nephews. There is still an order of protection against me until next April. The only reason my brother, sister, and ex brother in law put order of protections against me is because I called DCS and 911 on them because I do not agree with some things. I was just trying

I almost titled this blog Alone, but I am never alone because I have God and a ton of angels. My dad and I will have a relationship again but he will never understand that I had childhood trauma and also trauma when I was 22 years old and forcefully grabbed and thrown to the ground, restrained raped in the behavioral health hospital. It’s easier for him to just think I was and am delusional. I don’t think I will ever have a relationship with my Mom, sister, or brother though.

Hey everyone! I haven’t written a blog in awhile and not sure what to write. I am having a lot of fun doing Tik Tok videos! I want to share my foundation with as many people as possible. I am hoping once I make it an official 501(c)3 that people will be willing to donate so I can live my dream of having a facility for mental health with all the coping skills. I want to have art therapy, dog therapy, music, musical instruements, arts and crafts, diamond art, nutrition classes,

I haven’t typed a blog in awhile. I am obsessed with doing Tik. Tok videos now. Check it out. I am @stefaniessafespace. The last blog I said I was going to take the mood stabilizer Lamictal just for my sister so I can see her and my niece and nephews. I was excited and confident about my decision. I had been texting my sister long texts saying I was going to take Lamictal and that her and the kids mean so much to me. My texts said delivered so figured she was seeing them. I a

I had a really good day today. It’s always good to wake up sober and not have to worry about a hangover or drinking hair of the dog. I had my 2 cups of coffee and I think I talked with my Aunt Val on the phone. I had an NP psych appt at 9:30am on Teams so I got to do the appt from the comfort of my home. I really like my NP. He is cool. NP’s listen and care more than doctors. I told him I am feeling great and was able to start the new anti psychotic 2 days before I was due fo

The last few days I have been super sad that my sister doesn’t want me in her or her kids lives. I am trying not to get too depressed about and pray that she will realize I am doing so good without taking a mood stabilizer. I have to do what is best for my mental health and she has to do what is best for her mental health. It breaks my heart that part of her being mentally healthy means not having a relationship with me. I miss her so much and my niece and nephews. I am sure

I already wrote about the situation about my sister and I miss my sister, but I really was hoping she would talk to me soon. My birthday is next April 23rd and was hoping she would talk to me by then. She had said we could talk. When I found out she didn’t want to see me on Easter, I lost faith that she would have a relationship with me again. I text her a screen shot of her Facebook post she posted last September 2025 telling everyone that was my Facebook friend and not real

It has been about 12 years since I have been divorced. It was a really really hard time in my life. I went manic (had flashbacks) twice when I lived on the east coast with my husband. He was so supportive and amazing until he wasn’t. The second time I was hospitalized, he came and had lunch with me every day. I think I was there for about 2 weeks. He just had to pay $5.00 to have a really good lunch with me. I was still manic when I got out of the hospital. They gave me tons

I met my ex husband on match.com . I remember the outfit he was wearing when he picked me up for our first date. He looked like he worked at Target with kachi pants and a red polo shirt. Ha ha! I don’t even remember was I was wearing. He was such a nice guy and I thought he was attractive. He was a little on the dorky side and didn’t really work out much so didn’t have muscular arms like I usually like but that’s okay. He moved to Tucson from Michigan to get his PhD in materi

My sister and I got in a fight Saturday March 7th. It has been almost 2 weeks already. About a week or week and a half ago she said we will definitely get together and talk soon but she was busy with work and sleeping. The fight was about my medications. She thinks I need to be on a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic. She thinks she completely understands my mental illness, because she has been with me since I was 19 months old. There is just so much more to my mental illne

My next blog was going to be about my marriage and divorce, but I am going to instead write about my day today and yesterday. The first thing that comes to mind as I just took a shower is that my hair is still significantly falling out. I hate to compare it to chemo, but in my opinion Depakote is just as toxic as chemo. I stopped taking Depakote about 2 weeks ago or so and it is still in my system. I have been taking collagen every day double the dose that was suggested. Than

I mentioned about my EMT partner who was my best friend in the blog called Jerry Bob’s. She stopped being my friend because of my PTSD and mental illness. I also had a best friend who I loved very much in my 20’s. I think I was about 26 when we started hanging out and going out a lot. She was in my wedding when I was 29, the day before my 30th birthday. She came to visit my husband and I in Connecticut which was a blast. After I had my plastic surgery after losing a lot of we

This morning I woke up at about 6am. I should have gotten ready quick and went to the 6:30am AA meeting. I hesitated and then it was too late to get ready and go. I wanted to celebrate my 3 years sobriety with some amazing people at that meeting. I may go tomorrow, but I am also going to pick up a friend and go to the 8:30am meeting that I love. This will be my third time going. And then we are going to church after at 10:30am to Pantano Christian. Then we are going to our go

Good Morning! I got my 3 year sobriety chip at the 5:30pm meeting last night! I’m so excited and proud of myself. There were points in my life where I thought I would never get a year sobriety and especially not 3 years. My BFF Julie came to the meeting with me to support me and celebrate me. She is so amazing! I love my AA meetings. In the past I had stopped going for months at a time, and I definitely feel so much better when I am going to meetings. The daily reflection