Health

My next blog was going to be about my marriage and divorce, but I am going to instead write about my day today and yesterday. The first thing that comes to mind as I just took a shower is that my hair is still significantly falling out. I hate to compare it to chemo, but in my opinion Depakote is just as toxic as chemo. I stopped taking Depakote about 2 weeks ago or so and it is still in my system. I have been taking collagen every day double the dose that was suggested. Thank God I was blessed with thick hair so people still can’t notice that my hair is falling out. Hopefully it won’t get to the point where people notice. My stressed out paranoid brain is already thinking I may have to wear a wig. I know chemo makes you really sick. The last time I took depakote besides being court ordered starting last September was when I was 20 years old. I was temporarily living at my Dad’s house. I told him I wanted to stop taking my meds. He said if you stop taking your meds, you won’t be able to live here. Depakote can cause stomach issues too. I shit my pants and was like no way am I staying on this med. I got a job and an apartment and moved the F out. Depakote can also be bad for younger women and their reproductive tract. I have a good friend on Depakote and she said it’s the only thing that works for her. I am definitely not telling anyone to stop your medications, but maybe advocate for yourself with your doctor if you don’t think it is right for you and don’t like the side effects and how it makes you feel.

I just got back from swimming laps for an hour followed by some relaxing time in the jacuzzi. I talked to this super cool older guy who I have talked to before. He loves my tattoos. I bought a Subway sandwich on my way home from the gym, but haven’t eaten it yet cause you are supposed to wait about an hour after you workout to eat I believe. Also supposed to wait about an hour to workout after you eat. I am doing intermittent fasting and only eating between 12pm-7pm. I have lost 11 pounds in 17 days. I just started the intermittent fasting a couple days ago, but I know between that and eating healthy and working out, I will get to my goal in no time. I will be excited to lose 20 then 30 then 40 and then I will look pretty good after losing 50 pounds! But I will still want to lose about another 50 pounds. I would love to be a size 8-10. Right now I am about an 18-20. I swam laps for an hour yesterday and saw my Dad walking into the gym when I was in the pool. I waved and he waved back. I blew him a kiss and he blew me back a kiss. I love my Dad. I don’t know where I would be without my Dad. I have had a house for 12 years since my divorce because of my Dad and Step Mom and now have a car because of them. I think I already wrote about my car situation. Yesterday the 5:30pm AA meeting was really good. A few of us chatted after and I saw some people coming in for the 7pm meeting. I said hi to a girl and asked her how she is. I asked her name and she told me and said I should stay for the meeting so I did. It was a really good meeting. Reminding me more of church. That meeting they bring church and AA together and their sponsor is Jesus! I loved it. I gave a couple girls my number who are in early sobriety. One of them almost has 6 months and one of them has 4 months! I had a really good day chilling at home today. I colored a bit, put some laundry in (haven’t put it away yet), I had 2 cups of coffee in the morning, I listened to music, chatted on the phone with my Aunt, ate some yummy tuna fish with mayo, relish, yellow pepper, and pepper at noon. I feel so blessed to not have to be stressed about anything. I hopefully won’t have to work for anyone again except the non profit I am going to do some public speaking with soon. I just love to write and can’t wait to get my foundation going! My Stefanie’s Safe Space shirts and hat should be done tomorrow. Not sure if I mentioned yet that I am going to Disneyland with my BFF Julie next month. We will get back the day before the NAMI walk. A few of us plan on wearing my shirts and I will be handing out business cards and owl stickers. I will wear a fanny pack instead of a back pack or purse cause I don’t want the back of my shirt covered by a pack pack or even a strap of a purse! AA is having a St. Patrick’s day shin dig tonight so I will wear my St. Patricks stuff I got on sale last year after St. Patrick’s day. I may have some corn beef and cabbage for $7.00 bucks but I am about to eat my subway sandwich and baked chips and it’s already almost 4pm. I don’t think I will be hungry at 5:30pm. Maybe is they still have some at 6:30pm I will get some. Can’t eat past 7pm. I was going to go to Wal Mart before the meeting. I made a shopping list but I think I will go on my way home from AA. I definetely need more sugar free vanilla creamer for my coffee in the morning. And I have a few K cups left but will get more. I am going to get some steak and blue cheese, cottage cheese and salsa and cucumbers to dip in that and baked chips. I also need more bottled water. I am so bummed that my 5 gallon water dispenser broke, but it’s okay. I had a really good therapy appt yesterday. Talked about my Mom and sister and just how well I am doing. I really want to talk to and see my sister soon! I stopped by a new friend’s cute litttle coffee shop in the lobby of the building 5151 E Broadway. It is called BirdieVee. I got a yummy iced tea and a delicious bagel with cream cheese. Check it out and support local small businesses! I also went to Trader Joe’s and treated myself to a beautiful flower bouquet with a few roses in it. My favorite flowers are dark pink roses but I love all flowers. I was inspired, because when I went to my friend’s house for lunch on Sunday another friend had brought 2 beautiful flower bouquets Friday. Guess he does that every Friday which is so sweet!! Okay I am blessed for another day! I am going to eat my Subway and chill for a bit before AA. Still need to do my hair and make up but I have my outfit picked out. A cute flowy black skirt that is below my knees, a black and white pok a dot shirt, my silver sparkly wedges, and a green beaded tie and either a green hat or this cute St, Patricks Day headband. Okay have a great day everyone. Thanks again for your support! Please share my website and blog with people you think would like it and/or need the support!