First Time in Handcuffs

Like I said previously, I still have a lot of stories when I was in crisis. This was when I was 20 years old I believe. I was working at Little Caesars as a delivery driver. Also had to do dishes sometimes and make sauce in big buckets so I count this as my worst job ever. I think I already shared the story of when I was having a conversation about religion with a co worker. She was Catholic and I was Atheist. We weren’t mad at each other or anything. Just were discussing our views. And a black man came in to tell me I need to find God. I don’t think he even heard our conversation. I think it was even a different day. He said there is an upside down cross carved into this counter. He walked me to my car when I did a delivery and we heard church bells. I was taking diet pills which could have triggered a crisis cause it felt like I was on Speed and I have never done Speed before. At one point I was curled up in a ball under the shelving rack next to a radio. My Dad came and picked me up that day. I was in the fetal position, I know now because I was having flashbacks of something that happened to me as a small child. At this time I think I was temporarily living at a friend’s house or maybe I was still in my apartment. At one point I was triggered by the woman who had drowned her 5 kids in the bathtub. I thought my Mom was drowning my little sisters in the bathtub. They were only about 3 and 1. Or maybe she still just had the one 3 year old little girl. My trauma brain was terrified. I drove so fast to her house. At that point even though I was Atheist, I felt my angels with me. Obviously my Mom was not hurting my sisters. She called the cops on me. She told them I was hearing and seeing angels or maybe the cops wrote that on their own. I was sitting on the porch for awhile and think the crisis team came out to talk to me. I think my Dad had come over too. I had to be handcuffed, I believe in the front but may have been in the back. I rememenber making eye contact with my Dad and he felt so empathetic for me. The cops took me to the mental health hospital. Not sure how long I stayed that time. As far as that upside down cross on the counter, I now have a scar that looks like an upside down cross on my stomach, but when I look at it, it’s like a cross. I think I have mentioned that before too. Well like I said, this is on of many more stories I have to share.