God is Good

Good Afternoon everyone! It is 4:17pm as I write this on a Sunday. I slept really well last night and woke up at 5:48am. I text my Aunt to see if she was awake and she was so we texted a bit. I got in a fight with my sister last night about my medications. I understand where she is coming from, because it has been so hard for her and my family to see my go through all my mental illness challenges. We were at my cousin’s house for her birthday party. Luckily this was at the end of the night right before I was going to leave anyway after 10pm. I upset my sister, and she went outside in the backyard and I left before she came back in. I text her this morning and hopefully we can get together soon to talk it out. She said last night as we started to get heated about it, let’s not talk about this now..we can talk about it another time. I called my Mom this morning to see if my sister told her about our fight and she did. My Mom said my sister wants to talk it out and work it out so that makes me very happy. I have had such a good relationship with my sister the last few months. I really want to continue to have a good relationship with her moving forward. I also got into a fight with my Mom on the phone. We have had a good relationship the last few months too so we will see how it goes. I don’t plan on reaching out to her first. I said I love you at the end of the call and she did not. I am hoping she will not be so stubborn and will reach out to me before Easter. I want to go to Easter with my family. If she does not reach out to me and confirm that I am coming to Easter, I am pretty sure I will choose not to have a relationship with her. She has been very supportive since my suicide attempt, but in the past she has been toxic to me at times. I will not share much more than that unless she decides not to include me in family Easter. I was not included in family Easter last year or family pictures the November before that or the family trip to Disneyland, because I was in crisis and had written and said some things about my Mother. But getting back to my day today. I went to an amazing 8:30am AA meeting where there were so many friendly people! I went to this meeting last Sunday as well. I met with my sponsor after the meeting outside. It was so peaceful with the trees and birds. We just told each other our stories and got to know each other. We also just made sure our expectations aligned. I told her that when I was thinking if I should get a sponsor I saw white butterflies. Shortly after I told her that, a white butterfly flew behind me. A couple minutes later another white butterfly flew behind me. God is good. On my way home is when I got into the fight with my Mom on the phone. When I got home I called my Aunt Val to vent about it, made a late breakfast protein shake, and went to the gym to swim laps. I needed to destress and clear my mind. I still thought about my Mom some when I swam laps but tried to stay positive and just be grateful for another beautiful day sober. I just did my make-up and picked out my outfit for AA. I am going to one of my favorite meetings at 5:30pm.. Happy Joyous Free. I treated myself to new shoes yesterday, because I haven’t bought anything fun for myself in awhile. I got some super cute pink Spring sandals from DSW so I will wear those to the meeting tonight.