I’m Carrie Bradshaw Bitch

Now that I’ve told most of my truth… the important things and figured out that my whole family will be there for me so strong except my Mom! I’m not sure if and when I will be able to forgive her! I can now write in peace and nobody can stop me, nobody can silence me, nobody can ever tell me to shut up or what to do or not do!! I’m the boss of my own life bitches!! I’m still doing my blogs on my cellphone cause I can type faster and it’s just been easier all around cause my phone is already logged in! I still need to find my rose gold mouse, buy a new one, or upgrade my laptop from the Apple laptop my Dad handed down to me a few years ago!! I love hand me downs and am not a snob about brands or anything! Would I love to be able to buy a $400 pair of stilettos.. hell ya!.. would I love to be able to buy my own Louis Vuitton purse … hell yes… my own Mercedes.. can’t fucking wait!! But in the meantime I love hand me downs.. my Step Mom gave me a brand new real Louis Vuitton she bought and didn’t want. She bought me a brand new red coach purse and brown coach purse, her and my Dad literally bought a house for me from my Uncle that I plan on buying back from them soon!! I am all about giving back though before I get the materialistic things I want! I want a big custom house in Tucson, a house in Hawiii, a corporate office in NY… but before that.. I want to give back however I can! I’m chairing the 630am AA meeting tomorrow morning and will do Sunday mornings every week, I have a bunch of dog blankets and sheets in the back of my car to donate to Humanes Society! I have a friend in AA who will need things for a new apartment he is being blessed with soon.. so I put a few things aside that I have multiples of.. like crock pots, glass cooking pans, comforter, blanket, a leather recliner chair I was gifted by my Step Mom when her Dad recently passed. I have a couch in my roommates room that was half from my Dad and half from my living room couch (other half in my library) cause my Dad and step mom gifted me their awesome leather recliner sectional couch! Still would love to find an electrician who could come fix the wires after my Dad’s dog chewed the cords! I have a safe comfy (at the moment messy) colorful office with a corner desk I made from old doors that were here in a closet and 4 - 2 drawer file cabinets that I got at thrift stores and spray painted lime! Doors are painted purple! I had to move a lot of stuff from the guest room in here when my roommate moved in. But it’s my mess of stuff and I love it and will organize it soon! I recently rearranged the desk so I can face the door!! It makes me so happy!! Now I need to try to go back to sleep and now that I’m for real for real at peace this time, I think I will crash hard! Dexter is already snoring right outside my office in the hallway!! Good night friends and family!!

But my ultimate goal of this foundation is to have safe spaces all over the World starting with my hometown Tucson, AZ. Safe spaces for anyone who needs it… people struggling with mental illness, people having a hard time and wanting to prevent going into to crisis and having to be hospitalized and drugged, people who need clothes for daily living and job interviews, battered women, foster children, ex felons (if it wasn’t for rape, murder, or molestation of a woman, man, or child). There will be every healthy coping skill imaginable … music , musical instruments , karaoke , coffee bar, tea bar, cucumber lime water. Diamond art, crafting, scrapbooking, clean showers and toiletries, at some point comfortable beds… especially for halfway houses and homelsss, dog therapy, meditation, yoga, sound therapy, massage therapy , the list and ideas I have go on forever! This is my dream this is my passion! I’d go through everything I did again…. I’d take on everyone’s mental illness again if I knew I’d get to be blessed with my dream which in my opinion is bigger than any dream of any successful business man including Donald Trump who was so rich and successful and than ran our country, God saved him from the bullet (I’m so sad for tha family who lost their Dad and husband but it happens 4 times more than war -American veteran suicide- my new good friend Sam looked it up yesterday at breakfast! My gift is more than the Amazon business (which I love so much and it was such an amazing idea and is beyond successful!) but people have to be able to have a job, money, a phone, credit/debit card, license to just get whatever they want and need whenever they want and need and I’m one of those hard working Americans blessed to be able to do that! And my idea is better than the Tesla guys! They got rich designing a cool ass car with no gas and sell them for a lot of money! Personally, my dream cars are Mercedes, BMW, Range Rover… reliable cars you can count on to get safely to San Diego from Tucson without stopping in Yuma for gas which I’ve done in crisis before. I also threw my phone right out into the ocean cause it’s so hard to find a family memeber, good friend, or good support person to answer when you are in crisis! That’s why I love people in AA! You can call some of them 24 hours a day! My sponsor is 8am-5pm which is perfectly respectful. She said she can stretch it out a bit if she needs to, but she likes to have her wind down night routine which we all should have cause sleep is probably the number one important thing for the mental health of any baby, child, or adult … diagnosed yet with mental illness or not. I’m basically about to experience my dream of having more money than I know what to do with… and that’s why I have so many non profit projects I want to work on with everyone across the World!!! Love and peace! I’m so tired and need to crash! This has been probably the busiest month of my whole life so far!! Excited for what all is to come!!