Find the Light!!

I’m having a day but I’m on a schedule ! 23 years ago was 9/11! My trauma was when I was 22! I was 21 when 9/11 happened and was 22 when my worst trauma happened and I felt God and my Gramps (navy civil engineer) who had just passed away!! Looking back I know I had everyone who died in 9/11 with me during my trauma! I felt them all walking with me in the middle of the night at my brand new house in Corona De Tucson when I was 22 and had a mustang convertible! The darkness tried to take over a lot but nobody can knock me down!! I will get right back up! I’m alive and free and can breathe!! And it’s finally my time to fight back for my life! I thank God, my angels, AA, my sobriety for 18 months on Friday the 13th! I need my Dad so bad and am meeting him at Poco and Mom’s at 845am! Hopefully I will see Amanda and be able to get an Amazing hug from her first!! Leaving allergy shots now, after breakfast.. home for self care and Dex! This morning I took a hot bath before the sun came up with lavender salts and shaved my legs! My roommate woke up and I said he can use my bathroom which is now clean!! I walked Dexter for 20-25 minutes when the sun came up, and then started the day with an AA meeting ! And as someone said in AA, I can start my day over multiple times!! I’m doing really well and strong considering! I need a hug and talk with my Dad!! And I have emergency Ativan in my purse.. 2mg and 1mg but I don’t think I’ll need it cause I have so many healthy coping skills like listening to music super loud while driving with the windows down and holding my owl tattoo cause God and my angels got me!!

Self care self care self care! I have some hard stuff to still do the next few weeks but I’m standing up and breathing! Amen! God Bless everyone and thank you for your service !!