Sleep is Serenity

I really believe getting adequate sleep for your mind and body is so important for your brain, body, and overall mental health! Last night was such a crazy and weird night! I will not be taking indica gummies to sleep anymore. I do not like the feeling of being high! But I was laughing so hard at my Dazed and Confused blog and could not even stop! My body felt warm all over and weird. My roommate came out to make sure I was okay! It was kind of embarrrasing. I only took one 10mg gummy which he said isn’t a lot. But I ended up having to also take a 2mg Ativan cause my anxiety was through the roof. My chest was pounding so much. I ended up grabbing my big purple comforter and pillow and went and got comfy on my couch. I felt safer out there with Dexter and some lights on in the living and dining room. I ended up falling asleep for a bit and then went in my bed! I woke up at about 5am and got ready to go to the AA meeting at 630am. I went but was in such a funk and felt so tired and defeated from driving around last night with 911 trying to get my neice safe. Just FYI: My sister has driven drunk with them multiple times. She is lucky she hasn’t got a DUI yet and lucky nobody has died. I hope she was telling me the truth when she promised she was good and won’t do it again. She also needs to be more careful with texting and driving in her bag SUV. If she continues, she will get her karma,,,just hope nobody has to get hurt. I am so happy that my oldest nephew has a car and can legally drive very soon! I will pray that he is always safe of course and I am sure he can drive his little bro around some. I used to love having my bro drive me to school and then I drove my sis. My bro got the shitty end of that stick cause there was no older sibling to drive him his first couple years of High School.

So I left half way through the meeting today and went straight to bed! I was so blessed and happy to have been able to sleep food until about 1030am! Someone called me about making a few shirts for my foundation and a decal for my car! I am so excited! Still need to I find the name of the other company who sent me a small decal sticker with Stefanie’s Safe Space: Ending The Stigma of Mental Illness so I can thank them. Thank day I went to the mailbox, I had a feeling it was a sticker! Cause I asked all over Facebook for local people to help me out and haven’t had any luck till now! I was so excited like a little kid to get one little sticker in the mail. The significance of it is so awesome though! I am actually starting my own foundation! I am so fucking doing this! I have an appt at the bank Monday to open my LLC bank account and then need to I try to find a good CPA to help me figure out finances and making my foundation a non profit!! I have everything I need now though…a nice car, beautiful house that I made my own, an awesome baby boy doggie, food in my frig and pantry, a new phone aka lifeline, water, Sprite Zero, a comfy bed, clothes, amazing Nextdoor neighbors, lots of genuine friends, and also a lot of family and support at AA. Also, I can still talk to my Aunt cause she understands my spiritual side and believes my trauma!

I went and swam some laps and personalized my home page of my blog. Just have a couple spelling errors I need to change. I feel good now and energized and well rested. I am going to take a long hot shower and brush my hair with conditioner while the water is running on my face and hair! I am jamming out to some good tunes and am going to try to clean and organize my messy office soon. Will be easier once my roomie moves out November to December so I have space in that room. Hope everyone is having a great day! I am excited to go to AA at 530pm!

Love you all!! Keep praying please for everyone to be happy and safe! Considering my life and past and circumstances, I am still able to find serenity and focus on being a bad ass bitch business woman starting my very own foundation similar to NAMI but will be bigger! This is real like and I know my worth and I know I am beautiful and amazing! I am so lucky to have so many good people in my life, but I am also an awesome sober friend and like to help and be there for people as much as I can. Lately I have met a lot of really cool and genuinely nice homeless guys downtown! Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. They aren’t all out there asking for handouts! Just need to be heard like the rest of us!!