Trying to stay positive!

Ugh I just don’t even know how to feel. I deleted a couple blogs about my niece. I am sad that my nephews don’t want to talk to me. I thought going to the 530pm AA meeting would help. I did see someone who I hadn’t seen in awhile, but I still feel depressed and alone and cried on my way home as I listened to 104.1 Christian radio. I did see my 44 non 333 today at the gas pump and I know my angels are still with me of course. But after being in Palo Verde Behavioral Healh Hospital for 23 nights and being forced aka court ordered to take Lithium, I am hitting a low. I hate this need so much and am so hopeful that my court appointed psych doc I see next week will listen to my diagnosis of PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, SMI and not BI POLAR!! Bi-Polar is such a joke! This loser psych doc Dr. RBF diagnosed me Bi-Polar in 3 minutes and never acknowledged me and my other illnesses. I have enough documentation from prior to my hospitalization and during hospitalization including documents submitted to the judge to sue the shit out of her and the hospital so that is something I will definitely doing. Any money I win, will go to my foundation. That’s something else I have been bummed out about today! People told me to get my LLC first and now I talked to a couple CPAs who said I should not have done that and it can take up tp $2,000 to turn it into a non profit! I will definitely be doing it still, but I will have to probably wait a couple months. I wanted to have a big Christmas fundraiser party but we shall see. Also, I would just like to say how shitty my family has been. Nobody brought me pants, shirts, underwear or shoes or anything to me and I was in the hospital 23 nights!! At least someone thankfully donated pants and a long sleeve black shirt with a big silver owl which was awesome! So I just wore a gown when I washed that outfit. But I still have ZERO contact with my sister, Mother, Father, and brother. And I am okay with that! I feel free! I just need to bust my ass to be financially stable so I do not have to ask for any help. I feel a little better now that I wrote all that and I am jamming out to country music. I am going to try to get some cleaning and organizing done. Can’t wait for my home office to be clean and organized! Hope everyone has a great night!