I love that we can always have a fresh start. Every day can be a fresh start! We can make every day better than yesterday! I am so blessed to have a new job that I love and is perfect for me. It is my fresh start! It took me about 3 or 4 months to find. This job was truly meant to be. I work the front office at a massage therapy office. I have opening duties and closing duties and have to fold sheets once a week, but other than that..in between checking clients in and out, I

Hi! I am back and ready to get serious about starting my non profit foundation. When I started this website last year I was going through what doctors call “manic episodes”. Personally, I hate that word. It is so stigmatized and when people hear that word, they hear bi-polar and crazy! I am still not 100% accepting the diagnosis bi-polar and my current psychiatrist who is court ordered and only talks to me 15 minutes a month can go F himself! The brain is such a “crazy” thing

I will not let anyone hold me back from having my dreams happen!! I will not let some stupid gross medication hold me back! Fuck that! I am doing this!! I have been laying down and song after song that has come on have been so motivating!! Now it is After a Few…which of course I do not need! I do not need alcohol to motivate me to do anything. Being sober is so amazing! I am unstoppable! But the song on now is Miss Summer and the song that was on to get me to jump out of bed

Ugh I just don’t even know how to feel. I deleted a couple blogs about my niece. I am sad that my nephews don’t want to talk to me. I thought going to the 530pm AA meeting would help. I did see someone who I hadn’t seen in awhile, but I still feel depressed and alone and cried on my way home as I listened to 104.1 Christian radio. I did see my 44 and 333 today at the gas pump and I know my angels are still with me of course. But after being in Palo Verde Behavioral Healh Hosp

Well that was not my best last couple of months! Processig trauma is hard. Processing trauma nobody ever believed happened is even...

Blue October will hopefully do a charity event for me! The most inspiring concert ever!! I loved it so much! Went with my sister cause that was our thing when we drove up to SanDiego after I bought my new 2006 mustang convertible car and stayed on a boat! She doesn’t understand mental illness though like I do and the lead singer and whole band of Blue October! I gave my phone to God when my sis was on the phone with me and I was knee deep in my pants in the ocean a few years

I don’t need a $100,000 scratcher ticket to get a new car! I have always bought new cars on my own. Went to a great AA meeting this morning… a guy named Jason in a bright orange shirt said he got out of rehab, got a check and wanted a little meth but was robbed! In that moment my cousin Ryan hugged me so hard (I hugged myself for him)…got up and hugged him and told him he is loved and that my cousin did meth and died at 44. He said he is 45! I said you are going to be good! I

Ordered these yesterday! Only 200 cause next batch will have my business number and also the owl needs Blue eyes like my Grams!!

I went to Disneyland by myself on my bday this year …4/23 and before and after I went to San Diego by myself. It was so amazing! I love my ‘me trips”. My Mother is planning a Disneyland trip for the family this Thanksgiving. My oldest nephew cried so hard when I April Fools Day’d him and said I was moving back to NY. I just want them both to know….I will be taking you both on a vacay ASAP in my convertible Mercedes to San Diego and Disneyland for as many days as we can! Maybe

Omg I am so excited!! I went down to QT to get 2 lighters for my indica joint and got skittles and asked the dude to randomly pick 2 $5 scratcher tickets! Got home and lost the first one, but the crossword I kept getting words and the last word was OWL for my Grams’ Joyce!! I just won $100,080.00!! I will be able to have my Pretty Woman moment sooner than I thought and buy that white convertible 450 Mercedes with beautiful white/cream leather interior from David …not Mark.. o

Family support is so important. I grew up so close to my whole family. They love me so much but it is hard for them and me when I go through crisis. I liked a guy at AA who is so amazing and reminds me of my cousin Adam. He is very well spoken and genuine. We only talked a few times, but we have the same dream and both have had some pretty terrible trauma. I will not delete my Pretty Woman or Hope Floats blogs because I think they amazing, and the feelings I had were so real

I really believe getting adequate sleep for your mind and body is so important for your brain, body, and overall mental health! Last night was such a crazy and weird night! I will not be taking indica gummies to sleep anymore. I do not like the feeling of being high! But I was laughing so hard at my Dazed and Confused blog and could not even stop! My body felt warm all over and weird. My roommate came out to make sure I was okay! It was kind of embarrrasing. I only took one 1

I feel so amazing right now typing on my brand new Apple laptop but it is actually an iPad Air which is even more rad!! It is light and teal/blueish with a white keyboard that is so easy to use! I am at Starbucks close to AA cause I am not sure if Pima Alamo Club has WiFi or not! There is a cool area with tables and a snack bar though to write and I do not need WiFi to type my blogs. Just realized that cause I can use Microsoft Word and copy and paste! I need to leave in abou

I should be going to sleep now, but after getting home from the behavioral health hospital early this afternoon, I’ve had so much I want to get done! Put in some laundry now and got some cleaning done! I had a total PTSD breakdown and the Sherriff had to take me in for 15 nights! The doctor was absolutely horrible and I ended up getting court ordered to take a medication I don’t like! I was dumb I guess to think I could advocate for myself to continue taking the meds that wo

Now that I’ve told most of my truth… the important things and figured out that my whole family will be there for me so strong except my Mom! I’m not sure if and when I will be able to forgive her! I can now write in peace and nobody can stop me, nobody can silence me, nobody can ever tell me to shut up or what to do or not do!! I’m the boss of my own life bitches!! I’m still doing my blogs on my cellphone cause I can type faster and it’s just been easier all around cause my p

I honestly don’t care what anyone’s religion is… God, Jesus, Jewish, Budist, Atheist, Agnotic! All I wanted is for my family to have faith in me! I’ve been so successful in my life and even after having to start all over after a divorce.. I fought so hard to stay alive and to have purpose! My number one purpose has always been my nephews and neices! I love them so much! But luckily I have a nice home to live in (thanks to my Dad, Step Mom, and Uncle Scotty). It’s okay to ask

Scroll down for my favorite blog!! As I lay in my comfy bed again with my big fluffy purple comforter, grey sheets cause it’s too hot for...

As I lay in my comfy bed with a big soft purple comforter, I turn on the movie Pretty Woman!! I know this is real life but as I have on...

So I had an amazing AA meeting this morning and leading up to it I was listening to a family Christian radio station 104.1 I believe and songs have been guiding my whole life since I was 16 and I was so confused and didn’t truly understand but I knew it was my angels speaking to me!! So the story that was on was a woman who lost her child to abortion and felt so guilty and she lost her son and Mom. So I called them and told them everything I related to… they transferred me to